Question: My boyfriend hasn’t seen me without makeup – is this common? We’ve been together 5 years.
Answer: Relationships are complicated, and each one is different and unique in its own way. They all require adjustments to each other in a particular way which cannot be compared to or generalized. So, I’m sure there is a reason why your boyfriend hasn’t seen you au naturel — ever. However, as to whether this is common? Given the duration of the relationship, and I talk from experience, it is fairly abnormal for your boyfriend to not see you as you are (minus the powders and the grime).
Sure, as girls we sometimes feel that if we’re not decked up all the time, our boyfriends may lose interest in us or probably find us ‘ugly’. But that is so not true. If a guy truly loves you for who you are and what you are as a couple, then he won’t even fret if you have bed head or smeared eyeliner (note: bedhead and smeared eyeliner are both equally sexy) or morning breath. He would probably love you and respect you more if he knew that you were confident with and without it. Although makeup is a very trivial part of the relationship, this may be a sign of an underlying problem: are you really comfortable being yourself around him? If you are worried that he would judge you if look not-so-perfect, then take it one step at a time.
If you need a while to get comfortable, start out by applying natural makeup around him — like lip balm and mascara — and see how he reacts. I’m sure his reaction won’t be negative and he won’t squirm in displeasure. And if he does, then you should have a discussion with him about it. Part of being with someone is being able to be open and let your guard down. It can be hard at times to gain confidence, but ease yourself into it and you’ll feel better about yourself (and worry less).
Makeup is just an enhancement of our natural beauty, and it must not be used as a safety blanket. We all have flaws and imperfections, and it’s just a matter of embracing it. No one is perfect and it’s the little quirks that make us unique.
What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments!